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• 4.1: Understanding Abuse
• 4.2: A Survivor’s Thoughts
• 4.3: Understanding Equality
• 4.4: The Cycle Of Abuse
• 4.5: Warning Signs
• 4.6:

  Safety Planning

  • 4.6.1: Post-Relationship Planning
  • 4.6.2: Children's Safety Planning
• 4.7: Barriers to Leaving
• 4.8: Options To Consider
• 4.9: Domestic Violence & Children

Safety Planning

What Do I Need To Know About Safety Planning?

Getting Out And Getting Help.

No one deserves to be hurt. If you are in an abusive relationship, know that you are a strong and valuable human being. You do not cause the abuse or deserve the abuse. You can take steps to break free and end the cycle of violence and it is important that when you make this choice that you plan as best you can to leave as safely as possible. There are people and organizations that are there to help you – you just have to ask. Here are some brief suggestions of things you can do or prepare to do if you fear the abuse will continue.

Call For Help In An Emergency.

In an emergency, use a phone to call 911 and and tell them what to do. You can also develop a signal or code word you can use to alert a neighbour, family or other support that you are in trouble. Think about a signal or code word to use to tell others that you need help now and tell what to do if you contact them for help.
Safety signal: ______________________________________________________
Code Word: ______________________________________________________

Tell Others About The Abuse.

Abusers often create power over their victims by isolating them from family and friends. Part of safety is breaking this cycle of silence by telling people you trust what is happening. People can’t help if they don’t know and sometimes people are unsure how to help. Talking helps you get what you want and need. List below the people who you can tell about your relationship. Include family, friends and local shelters.
Others I can tell: ____________________________________________________

Create An Emergency Safety And Escape Plan.

Decide what you will do and where you will go the next time your partner turns violent. If possible, get out of the situation and go to a safe place such as a friend, family or neighbour’s home, public place or women’s shelter (Nipissing Transition House, 547 John Street, North Bay). If you are in immediate danger, get to a well-lit and public location where there are people around and ask for or call for police or other assistance. If you can’t safely get out of the house or apartment, think of places to go in your home when your partner gets violent. Avoid small places with no exits or places with sharp tools or small weapons, such as bathrooms, kitchens or garages. Remember though, if the bathroom is the safest room in your house, go there, go to where you believe you will be safest. Try to go to a room with an exit. If you can, invest in a portable phone as well so you can take it with you to call for help.
Plan: ________________________

Create An Escape Kit.

Prepare in advance to take important items with you when you leave. Some or all of these things can also be kept by someone you trust so you can go get them after you have left. I can leave an escape kit with _________________________. Make copies or duplicates of things you need. Keep some or all of them together in a safe place so you can get to them quickly and without being noticed. If you believe that you or your children are in danger, leave immediately, even if you don’t have some or any of these items:

• Money – start saving some cash each week and set it aside in a secret place. Even if only a few dollars from grocery money if that is all you have access to. Think about opening a bank account in your own name at a different bank – but be sure to either not have any mail delivered about this account or have it sent someplace where he is not going to know about it.
• Extra set of house and car keys. House keys are important. If you require police accompaniment to go back to your house for personal belongings, you will need a key.
• Cheque book, credit or bank cards, bank account information, income tax information, mortgage and debt information. This will be needed not only for access to money but for applying for legal and social assistance.
• Driver’s license, Social Insurance card, birth certificates, health cards – for you and your children.
• Legal documents, such as protection and custody orders.
• Change of clothes.
• Important medications
• Address book
• Anything else you or your children consider important to have, such as family pictures, children’s comfort objects and something to keep children occupied.